How NOT to write about music – 50. Marshmello ft. Bastille

Marshmello ft. Bastille

Last week, a bog-standard EDM DJ played a concert to an estimated audience of 10 million people, and I bet you didn’t even know…

The first ever live virtual concert inside Fortnite with millions of people in attendance; and for those watching, this was An Event to match all those Oasis Maine Road and Superbowl halftime shows and U2 stadium tours. Apparently. I don’t mean for the ‘apparently’ to sound cynical, just acknowledging my own lack of insider knowledge. Certainly my 13-year-old son (let’s call him Isaac, as that’s his name) loved it, was very excited. Yet I cannot connect to this on near any level: the music and the event feels alien to me, clinical and clumsy, disconnected and woefully amateurish, so basic. Lack of commonality.

Maybe it’s my two-dollar headphones (no bass). Maybe it’s my unfamiliarity.

The event feels strangely empty. (Ten million people? Really? “They’re all on separate servers, dad,” Isaac patiently explained.) At big shows (or after-show parties) (or weddings) I really notice if the audience is lacking or if there is not much atmosphere. (That moment the lights get turned on at 2am after a bangin’ disco to reveal the beer spills and patches of nothing and ordinary, sad would-be all-night hedonists.) This is a generational thing, right? Watching virtual reality I am very aware of the reality I exist within. The music is tinny, squeaky-clean. There is too much separation between the sounds, between the stage and the dancers, between the dancer themselves. It’s so damn empty. I do not want to comment on the music – except to note that shorn of the physicality of actual reality, the smells and off-mic sounds, the sights and breeze across my face – I find myself floundering to establish commonality (something at the heart of near all criticism, too often taken for granted).

Then there is this. I don’t understand. I really don’t. How is this, on any level, good? Six million views, 360K likes.

I am betraying my own lack of engagement, my own lack of common ground. Isaac loves this stuff; my criteria for whether something can be judged ‘good’ or ‘bad’ are outmoded and meaningless when it comes to discussions like this. Yet music criticism is not musicological analysis, it has never been even primarily concerned with  the notion of a universal good or bad, with the notes and tone and composition by themselves. So does this make Rolling Stone‘s critique of Marshmello’s 2018 album Joytime II as “monotonous… every song sounds like it has already been pre-leased for use by energy-drink companies or extreme-sports squads” valueless? Only inasmuch as music criticism has always been valueless.

Pitchfork‘s comment that “Artists trafficking in EDM have typically been averse to the album format, but Marshmello’s two Joytime releases aren’t exactly albums. Think of them more as collections of DJ tools — packages of cuts tailor-made for set-lists and remix fodder alike” feels more relevant. Doesn’t tell you anything about the music though.

Or does it?

Music criticism focuses on the audience, and on the performer. As the old line has it about John Coltrane and the Cheeky Girls – can we not all agree the merit and worth in one over the other. No, I do not believe we can. Preference is down to context and fashion, not some mythic intrinsic ‘value’.

Could I also draw your attention to this:

**LIMITED EDITION** MARSHMELLO X FORTNITE MERCH ▶ http://mellogang.com Click Here To Watch The Happier Music Video ▶ https://youtu.be/m7Bc3pLyij0 SUBSCRIBE HERE ▶ http://youtube.com/marshmellomusic?su… Thank You to Fortnite, everyone playing with the Marshmello skin in game and all of you mellogang watching at home Listen to the extended set on Apple Music ▶ https://apple.co/2WCBgAt BIBA with Pritam and Shirley Setia is out now ▶ https://youtu.be/7gfhI2FQ55s Watch Gaming with Marshmello HERE ▶ http://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcY… Watch Cooking with Marshmello HERE ▶ http://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcY… — MORE Marshmello Music — LISTEN to Joytime II Here ▶ http://smarturl.it/JOYTIMEII WATCH PROJECT DREAMS MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/Hn7WDtF3nKA WATCH TOGETHER MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/JePnQ1gSagc WATCH BAYEN HABEIT LYRIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/jNJCdxMf0t8 WATCH STARS MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/A57B7B6w3kw WATCH FLASHBACKS MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/Lj-_mD0w474 WATCH YOU CAN CRY MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/2SJ0hgdciNE WATCH EVERYDAY MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/bEdcJY8Emm8 WATCH FLY MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/oRArmtMA9AI WATCH FRIENDS MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/jzD_yyEcp0M WATCH SPOTLIGHT MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/7R1N-8SoqcM WATCH LOVE U MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/D-pKeb6Wf4U WATCH TAKE IT BACK MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/P9Ijqa_2eu0 WATCH SILENCE MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/Tx1sqYc3qas WATCH BLOCKS MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/5E4ZBSInqUU WATCH YOU & ME MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/fiusxyygqGk WATCH FIND ME MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/ymq1WdGUcw8 WATCH MOVING ON MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/yU0tnrEk8H4 WATCH SUMMER MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/2vMH8lITTCE WATCH ALONE MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/ALZHF5UqnU4 WATCH KEEP IT MELLO MUSIC VIDEO ▶ https://youtu.be/_J_VpmXAzqg MARSHMELLO: Merch | http://mellogang.com/ Spotify | http://spoti.fi/Marshmello Apple Music | http://apple.co/2n8Evz6 SoundCloud | http://soundcloud.com/marshmellomusic Instagram | http://instagram.com/marshmellomusic Facebook | http://facebook.com/marshmellomusic Twitter | http://twitter.com/marshmellomusic Twitch | http://twitch.tv/marshmellomusic Video Editor: Taylor Cutler #Marshmello #Fortnite #Gaming #Event marsh walk fortnite item keep it mello marshwalk

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Damn.

That is some heavy-duty marketing, right there.

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One thought on “How NOT to write about music – 50. Marshmello ft. Bastille

  1. Pingback: 10 Least Read Entries on How NOT To Write About Music (April 2019) | How NOT to write about music

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