I found this early attempt at online humour while trawling through old Twitter posts, probably inspired by Mad magazine. It was during the same series of Tweets that I came up with the concept for 101 Albums You Should Die Before You Hear.
1. Animal Collective
“Fuck! You’ve spilled beer over my new Pet Sounds CD.”
2. Vampire Weekend
“Am I the only one around here who thinks Graceland is a classic record?”
3. Bat For Lashes
“Nastasha! I’m warning you for the last time. Stay out of Kate’s make-up drawer.”
4. Queens Of The Stone Age
“What we going to do tonight, man?” (Sound of dude deeply inhaling.) “Duuuuuude.”
5. Radiohead
“Thomas Edward Yorke, you stop your sulking right now and come downstairs and say hello to your friends.”
6. Rage Against The Machine
“You be the singer.” “No, fuck you, you be the singer.”
7. Fleet Foxes
“Mu-u-u-u-m. Christian’s been hiding the hair clippers again.”
8. Adam And The Ants
“Adam, for the last time, stop biting the strap of your satchel.”
9. U2
“Paul David, you come away from that cliff there right now.”
10. Silverchair
“Will you kids quit miming to those bloody Nirvana records.”
11. Guns ‘N Roses
Band wanted to play with misogynistic, needle-dick narcissist. Women need not apply.
12. The Dirty Three
“Warren, Warren! Bath time! Warren… where is that boy?”
13. Blue Cheer
“Could you just turn that record there up a notch, Jerry?”
How NOT to write about music 