I’m not going to linger for long here.
Honestly? This was two weeks ago. My memory is crap. David Lance Callahan always struck me as a much better (in every respect) Morrissey than David Gedge. The Talleyrand had a perfectly functional piano in the corner of its back room. It’s fucking fantastic to take two five-hour car rides with a friend you haven’t seen for at least 10 years: we have a healthy suspicion for each another that fuels the closeness. Alice is wonderful. Great call on the recommendation for food – Levenshulme Bakery is nothing of the sort, but does an incredible kebab. Martin Bramah left halfway through, no doubt nonplussed at the sight of a Fall fan clearly unable to play even the rudiments of Fall songs; I’m told his companion found it highly entertaining, though. There were far more people present during Dave and Theo’s set: there again, they played something approximating (spiky, angular, folksy, danceable, human, heartwarming) music and have a deserved rep for doing same. I have no such rep.
Honestly? I wasn’t necessarily phased by the fact at least three ex-members of The Fall were present, or that I attempted to start at least five songs to no avail. ‘Hit The North!’ would have been the popular choice: I discarded the notion beforehand, fearing it too obvious and patronising. (Rule number one of playing live: never discard the obvious – especially if you only play live three times a year.) The line about my daughter heckling me with the “play another chord” shout got the biggest laugh of the afternoon. The Talleyrand does very good beer, so I’m told. David Callahan is a diamond; driving us to our door after, through all the diversions and crashes – very much appreciated. ‘Frightened’ was my favourite; possibly, ‘Spectre Vs Rector’ cos that’s the one where everyone hears all the words for the first time. Pleasure to meet so many friendly faces, especially Julia, David, Theo and Jack.
Honestly? I don’t remember being on stage. Happens like that sometimes. I know I forgot to use the sustain pedal and melodica, and should’a told a couple more stories. I know it was disconcerting being able to see the whites of everyone’s eyes from my vantage point. (David, on the other hand, much appreciated it.) ‘Rebellious Jukebox’ was OK. ‘Repetition’? Sure. The highlight was – uh, easy, ‘Eat Y’rself Fitter’, the crowd joined in, exactly the right places, with gusto.
Sure. I’d love to do this again. All over the UK and elsewhere, if anyone lets me get away with it again. I’m doing an Everett True plays Jonathan Richman set in Brighton on 30 September. Come down, if this hasn’t put you off.
How NOT to write about music 