How NOT to write about music – 58. Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson Billie Jean

So I wouldn’t say I’m a fan right but you can’t really imagine modern day pop without him right, and you can’t just wipe out the music from millions of people’s lives just because a couple of people make outrageous claims can you, I mean they’re obviously in it for the money anyway aren’t they, and they’ve already been proven to be lying, and I wouldn’t say I condone sexual abuse but didn’t Michael suffer some pretty horrific abuse himself in the past not that that condones it of course, no way, but I’m just saying, cos that would help explain some of it if it was true which it isn’t, and anyway haven’t all his relatives and female friends come out and said they still support him, and his real fans true, not the ones who never really cared all along, and it’s low isn’t it, bringing all this stuff up when he’s dead when he can’t defend himself, and I wouldn’t say I’m a fan of pedophiles either but really you just have to look at the facts don’t you, cos facts don’t lie, people do and I’m a fan of facts, and the facts state that there’s no way Michael is guilty of any of the stuff he’s been accused of cos basically all it comes down to in the end is whether you believe a couple of discredited lying fans or not, a bit like the way Donald Trump keeps getting accused of stuff but obviously he hasn’t done any of it because if he had he wouldn’t still be President would he, and going back to the argument facts don’t lie people do, that’s a really strong argument isn’t it, and we all know Michael was a little strange, that was part of his genius wasn’t it, but he had already told us he shared beds with young boys and we accepted it then so why would we change our minds now especially when it’s not based on facts just testimony and personal experience and years of painstaking research and trauma, er, and anyway you can’t just not listen to someone just cos he’s had groundless unproven accusations made about him, that’s not fair or right, and if it was true don’t you think it would all have been said years ago, and there’s no way we would be calling him the King of Pop even now, and I wouldn’t say I’m a fan but you can’t deny his talent, that’s a FACT and FACTS don’t lie, and no of course I didn’t watch that documentary why would I have watched the documentary I already knew it wasn’t true, and as Michael once said “If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, then make that change”, that’s what we should all do, so I wouldn’t say I’m a fan right but you can’t really imagine modern day pop without him right, and you can’t just wipe out the music from millions of people’s lives just because a couple of people make outrageous claims can you, I mean they’re obviously in it for the money anyway aren’t they, and they’ve already been proven to be lying, and I wouldn’t say I condone sexual abuse but didn’t Michael suffer some pretty horrific abuse himself in the past not that that condones it of course, no way, but I’m just saying, cos that would help explain some of it if it was true which it isn’t, and anyway haven’t all his relatives and female friends come out and said they still support him, and his real fans true, not the ones who never really cared all along, and it’s low isn’t it, bringing all this stuff up when he’s dead when he can’t defend himself, and I wouldn’t say I’m a fan of pedophiles either but really you just have to look at the facts don’t you, cos facts don’t lie, people do and I’m a fan of facts, and the facts state that there’s no way Michael is guilty of any of the stuff he’s been accused of cos basically all it comes down to in the end is whether you believe a couple of discredited lying fans or not, a bit like the way Donald Trump keeps getting accused of stuff but obviously he hasn’t done any of it because if he had he wouldn’t still be President would he, and going back to the argument facts don’t lie people do, that’s a really strong argument isn’t it, and we all know Michael was a little strange, that was part of his genius wasn’t it, but he had already told us he shared beds with young boys and we accepted it then so why would we change our minds now especially when it’s not based on facts just testimony and personal experience and years of painstaking research and trauma, er, and anyway you can’t just not listen to someone just cos he’s had groundless unproven accusations made about him, that’s not fair or right, and if it was true don’t you think it would all have been said years ago, and there’s no way we would be calling him the King of Pop even now, and I wouldn’t say I’m a fan but you can’t deny his talent, that’s a FACT and FACTS don’t lie, and no of course I didn’t watch that documentary why would I have watched the documentary I already knew it wasn’t true, and as Michael once said “If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, then make that change”, that’s what we should all do.

2 thoughts on “How NOT to write about music – 58. Michael Jackson

  1. Pingback: 10 Most Read Entries on How NOT To Write About Music (June 2019) | How NOT to write about music

  2. “So I wouldn’t say I’m a fan right but you can’t really imagine modern day pop without him…”

    And that’s the funny part, because, of course, we can *easily* imagine modern pop without Michael Jackson, just as easily as we can imagine it without KC and the Sunshine Band, The Eagles, Cher or the Bay City Rollers… and all the other pop acts for whom people obligingly conflate the statistics of Global Fame with the concept of “seminal”. Clearly, the Motown template of micro-managed, cross-platform Total Pop was seminal, and the Beatles (cute singers writing their own hits) were seminal, and Dylan (as a sort of mono-Beatle) was seminal. Stevie Wonder, whose (nasal, head-twerking, hyper-melismatic) vocal style has been imitated by 90% of all Soul/ R&b/ Funk singers who followed him (the other 10% going the tougher, open-throated, Aretha direction), was clearly seminal. Prince was very nearly seminal but then he stopped doing what he so bravely started (fusing Black & White Pop styles and references; people forget that Purple was little Marc Bolan’s color first) and ended up recycling endless and character-free funk/Latino jams just because he had access to the kinds of bands that could make those saggingly horny, pentatonic workouts sound sharp… a few more songs like “When Doves Cry” and Prince might have really changed things, in the recalcitrantly racist music biz, to such an extent that we would now be justified in saying that we couldn’t really imagine modern day pop music without him. But Michael Jackson? Just El Debarge with better songwriters and blacker forebearers, really, and MJ’s greatest influence is most vividly seen in the trans-racial pop-masks of his sisters’, and Little Kim’s, faces.*

    *Prince had the surgery and skin-lighteners, too, but Prince, to his credit, used that genie in moderation and stopped before the Whiteness Dial hit 11.
    **I write all this realizing that your post is drenched in sarcasm (and cheers for that!)

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